Our Irvine Divorce Lawyers Understand Your Desire to Protect Your Child or Children in a Divorce

As a parent, one of the most challenging aspects of going through a divorce is witnessing the impacts that your divorce has on your child. Even if getting a divorce will ultimately be in your child’s best interests, the process can be complicated. Your child is not likely to fully understand why his or her parents are no longer living together. With this in mind, when preparing to go through a divorce, it is important to address your child’s needs proactively, and this is one of several areas in which an experienced Orange County family lawyer can help.

The Child-Related Aspects of Divorce in California

There are multiple child-related aspects of divorce under California law: (i) child custody and visitation, and (ii) child support. Parents must comprehensively address both of these issues during the divorce process. While there are guidelines that exist, parents must focus on making decisions that reflect their unique family and financial circumstances.

1. Child Custody and Visitation in California

In California, the law supports the establishment of custody and visitation arrangements that ensure children will maintain loving and supportive relationships with both of their parents after a divorce. For example, Section 3020 of the California Family Code states:

“[I]t is the public policy of this state to ensure that the health, safety, and welfare of children shall be the court’s primary concern in determining the best interests of children when making any orders regarding the physical or legal custody or visitation of children[,] . . . to ensure that children have frequent and continuing contact with both parents after the parents have separated or dissolved their marriage, . . . and to encourage parents to share the rights and responsibilities of child rearing . . . .”

To this end, California law does not inherently favor either parent in divorce proceedings. Except in cases of significant domestic violence, child abuse or drug use, parents will be expected to share parenting rights and responsibilities after their divorce. All child custody determinations must be made based upon the “best interests” as determined based on the factors outlined in Section 3011 of the California Family Code. 

For more on establishing child custody during a divorce in Orange County, you can read our Irvine family law lawyer’s overview here: California’s “Best Interests” Factors for Child Custody Determinations.

2. Child Support in California

All parents must financially support their children under California law. Payment obligations are established under California’s Child Support Guidelines, with exceptions to be made in appropriate cases (primarily in high-income divorces). When calculating child support, both parents’ income from all sources must be considered, with deductions for taxes, health insurance premiums and certain other expenses.

While calculating child support may appear to be one of the more straight-forward aspects of the divorce process in Orange County. There are many nuances and complexities, and mistakes can prove costly for a party who is not well represented. As a result, it is strongly recommended to work with an experienced family lawyer to ensure that you arrive at an appropriate child support calculation. 

Learn more: Understanding Parents’ Child Support Obligations in California.

Parenting Your Child During and After Your Divorce

When going through a divorce, protecting your children involves much more than ensuring that you have a solid parenting plan and that your children will have access to the financial resources they need in the years to come. Going through a divorce is emotionally challenging for children of all ages. Helping your children cope with the psychological effects of your divorce will be essential to their long-term emotional stability and well-being.

Helping Children Cope Emotionally During a Divorce

Children of different ages respond differently to divorce, and there is research to suggest that even infants can react negatively to stress in their home environment. As children age, their response and coping mechanisms evolve, although studies show that even teenagers are not yet fully equipped to manage the unfamiliar psychological impacts of their parents’ divorce. Signs that a child may be struggling to cope with his or her parents’ divorce include:

• Infants – Irritability, outbursts, and developmental delays or regression
• Toddlers – Crying, seeking attention, and developmental delays or regression
• Preschoolers and Kindergartners – Outbursts, expressing worry or frustration, emotional dependence
• Elementary School Age – Expressing anxiety or fear of abandonment, signs of depression and physical symptoms of stress
• Pre–Teen and Teen – Similar signs to those exhibited by elementary school-age children, as well as efforts to “test” whether their parents will be there for them after the divorce

Preparing for Life Post-Divorce

Just like adults, for children, the effects of going through a divorce do not end when the divorce process is over. Coping and adjusting to post-divorce life takes time, and, as a parent, there are steps you can take to help ensure that the transition is as comfortable and low-stress as possible. Some examples of these steps include:

• Know the Terms of Your Divorce – To avoid running into issues with your children’s other parent, make sure you are intimately familiar with the terms of your divorce. This is particularly true concerning your parenting plan and parenting time schedule.
• Address Any Issues or Concerns Proactively – If you run into an issue with your former spouse, or if your child is exhibiting signs that they may be struggling to cope with post-divorce life, do not let the problem linger. Address it proactively, always keeping your child’s best interests in mind.
• Take Care of Yourself – To be able to care for your children, you need to take care of yourself as well. It is important not to forget that getting divorced is difficult for parents, too, and you will need time to cope with all of the various changes to your life.
• Communicate Amicably with Your Former Spouse – No matter what the circumstances may be, when dealing with child-related issues, it is almost always going to be best to remain amicable when communicating with your former spouse. If a situation begins to escalate, seek help rather than allowing it to devolve.
• Seek Professional Help When Necessary – From handling disagreements to helping your child cope with the psychological effects of your divorce, you should not hesitate to seek professional help when necessary. In many cases, doing so will allow you to minimize any negative consequences and return your focus on your new day-to-day life.
• For more information on this topic, read our Guide for Divorcing Parents.

Speak with an Irvine Family Lawyer at Seastrom Tuttle Murphy Dockstader

At Seastrom Tuttle Murphy Dockstader, we help parents in Orange County navigate all aspects of the divorce process. If you are contemplating a divorce and would like more information about the steps you can begin taking to prepare, call 949-474-0800 or contact us online to speak with an Irvine family law lawyer in confidence.

Common Questions About Children and Divorce in California

What decisions about the children does a divorce judgment have to make?

Four, and each should be explicit. Legal custody, meaning who has authority over decisions about health, education, and welfare. Physical custody and the parenting schedule, meaning where the children live and when they are with each parent. Child support, including the base guideline amount and how mandatory and discretionary add-on expenses are allocated. And the practical mechanics, exchanges, transportation, holidays, travel, and how the parents communicate. A judgment that resolves the first three and leaves the fourth vague is the one that generates return trips to court.

Do parents have to attend mediation about custody?

In California, contested custody and visitation matters are referred to court-connected child custody mediation before a hearing, so parents generally do participate. In some counties the mediator makes a recommendation to the court where the parents do not reach agreement, a process commonly called recommending counseling, and Orange County follows that model. That matters, because a recommendation carries real weight with the judge. Parents often walk into what they assume is an informal conversation without appreciating that the session may shape the order.

When does the court appoint a custody evaluator or an attorney for the child?

In the harder cases. A custody evaluator, a mental health professional who investigates and reports to the court, may be appointed where there are serious contested allegations, a mental health or substance issue, or a difficult relocation question. Minor’s counsel, an attorney appointed to represent the child, may be appointed where the child’s interests need independent representation, for instance in high-conflict cases or where a child’s own views need to be conveyed reliably. Both add cost and time, so they are appointed where the alternative is deciding a serious question on a poor record.

How should a parenting plan handle new partners and travel?

By addressing them before they arise. Provisions worth including cover how and when a new partner is introduced to the children, whether an overnight guest may be present during parenting time, notice requirements and consent for out-of-state or international travel with the children, who holds the passports, and a right of first refusal giving the other parent the option of additional time before a third-party caregiver is used. None of these is required, and parents who trust each other often skip them. They are, however, the terms most often litigated later when circumstances change.

About the Firm

Seastrom Tuttle Murphy Dockstader is a family law firm in Irvine representing clients throughout Orange County, and in Los Angeles County. The firm practices family law exclusively. Its attorneys include Fellows of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers and of the International Academy of Family Lawyers, and attorneys certified as specialists in family law by the State Bar of California Board of Legal Specialization. Call 949.474.0800 to discuss custody and support for your children.